“I have no carpet”

I love saying those four words whenever I answer the door to see yet another carpet-cleaning salesperson peddling a deal - one room shampooed for free.

I have no carpet - no carpet, no stains, no threadbare places, nothing a broom and a damp mop can’t conquer, no occasion to rent or buy a shampooer, and no reason to have to stand at the door and listen to a spiel.

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